Single & Dating? At 44 Part II

Firstly, a HUGE thank you to all the views on the post yesterday – and especially for all the comments & private messages. Thank you for trusting me to share such intimate details of your life -past & present, your struggles & the varying degrees of pain you have faced being single.  

Has it ever almost felt like a point of shame – feeling so lonely & having some of the struggles you’ve had?  Especially when you get advice from people who seem or claim to have just “breezed” through it like a warm spring day. Like you just need to get over it- just be happy every day and “when the time is right” it will happen again. OK, so you get all that –  as do I. And there is some absolute-spot-on-truth in there but I myself have not mastered it 100%. Feel familiar?

Admittedly, some days I get a big fat A+ & others a big fat F. Some days I ugly-cry like a baby who’s favorite toy got greedily snatched away & others I am almost euphoric – filled with hope for new things to come. I call those my grace-filled days. Thankfully I seem to have more of those than the aforementioned. God is good even when life isn’t so peachy.  

On the contrary to the rough spots, we all have blessings in our life that help us along. For me, my biggest here in this wide world is my 22 years-young son – who I couldn’t be more proud of. He is a miracle. And as he would say about me as his Mom, it still doesn’t take the place of a mate in life. We have had this discussion. He has so many years ahead of him, but he wants the same thing we all do. Age does not discriminate the need for that kind of relationship.   

Being single can certainly be a battle. Just like any other. Married or committed couples face battles too –  just together, hopefully. But a battle is a battle. Why judge someone else’s journey when we all have our own? Where we may point fingers at one stretch of bumpy road & criticize someone else’s ambling along, we are stuck in a ditch of a different kind – and your point is? Hello.

I admonish you & I speak to myself – please do not carry shame. If you pick it up fling it down after you have rolled in it briefly. Brush off & keep getting up. It’s ok. Really. You can do this. 

Please feel free to continue to message me, comment etc. Things shared in private will stay there. There is nothing you could say to me or tell me that I would judge – I have probably done it all anyway. If there is a mistake to be made in relationship-  I have most likely sailed those ships & run them aground. 

Here’s to being single till we are not, and the kinship in between – 

Much love & joy for this arduous journey, 



4 thoughts on “Single & Dating? At 44 Part II

  1. shan mueller

    I remeber being single. It was tough watching all the happy couples. I knew though that I had the faith that God would put someone in my life that I would fall in love with. He did. We started talking one day and we started hanging out and forming a great friendshipIt was very difficult though to watch other girls who call themselves christians and who knew we were there together flirt with him or text him behind my back or stand there talking to him while I was present. What made it even more painful was to watch him get all caught up in the attention. I hate when women are so desperate because they are so lonely that they do that to another women. They don’t care about the other women and her feelings even though they say they are christian. No one should be that lonely that they are so desperate that they give into that and do things that they know at their core is wrong and against what God would want them to do. I hung in there and I got my man but it was a rocky road. I put complete faith in God that during the time when we were just friends that God swept away the girls that would flirt with him and kept me there with him. I didn’t give up. I prayed everyday, sometimes all day and it worked. It will happen for you. Instead of going out to bars or internet dating, find a good one in church. They have so many ways to meet great guys now. Find someone that doesnt have any ties to any other women, one who is honest and one who stable in life and you will be happy I ended up marrying my friend who became my best friend. I would recomment everyone marrying their best friend. Good luck in finding the man that God chooses for you. I’m glad your not like all the other single women that hang out at bars trying to meet just “anyone” because they are lonely and don’t care if that man already is tied to another woman.


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